Cooter Speaks Out

I make weekly visits to the Christian Coalition's Web site. And no, it's not just to collect fodder for my ongoing assault on Christian Conservatism. I really do like to see what issues they're pushing and what stances they're taking on the news of the day.

During my most recent fact-finding mission on the CC Web site, I stumbled across a link to a delightful little piece of ridiculousness. It seems that Ben Jones, who played Cooter in the original Dukes of Hazzard TV show before becoming a Georgia congressman, is performing in a new role: beacon of morality for a wayward nation.

Cooter's hitting the streets and warning families to avoid Warner Brothers' raunchy spin on an old favorite.

Ben Jones . . . says profanity and sexual content in the PG-13 film are a "sleazy insult," akin to taking I Love Lucy and "making her a crack head."

"Other than Daisy's shorts, our show did not have any of that [suggestive content]," Jones says. "[O]n our show, nobody got hurt, nobody cussed, nobody bled, the good guys won, and the Duke boys were heroes because they always made the right moral choice."

That's funny Cooter. I always thought the Dukes of Hazzard was about two good ol' boys with a proclivity for archery who spend their days driving around in an orange car named after a Confederate general and adorned with a Confederate flag. But I must admit, I am not a Dukes aficionado, so perhaps the moral nuances of the show are lost on me. And I might be off-base here, but taking Lucy and making her into a crack head sounds promising. If anybody's got script ideas, I'd be willing to produce.

Anyway, if you were planning on checking out the new movie, Cooter suggests that you should think again. Unless of course, you've got a thing for moral depravity. In that case, it's probably right up your alley. If, like me, you were planning on skipping the Dukes since, well, it looks like a crappy movie, now you've got another reason to stay home.

Thanks Cooter.

Pic courtesy of batcave.net

--Matthew McCoy