Jesus Transcript

It's a miracle, Jesus Christ, the King of Kings, descended, literally, into Crawford, Texas sometime this August for a GOP fundraiser. Burn in hell, Jim Wallis, you bleeding heart false prophet. Luckily, Thomas Peyer transcribed it for Slate and wouldn't you know it, Jesus has indeed revised that previous remark he made in the synoptic gospels ( Matthew 19:23-24, Mark 10:24-25 and Luke 18:24-25) about the rich man, the camel, and the eye of the needle. His views on the separation of church and state will also strike terror into the hearts of secularists everywhere. Now that you think about it, Iraq's Shiites should take heart from his statement as well considering Jesus is a lesser prophet in Islam.

Spread the good word people.