The Lesbians Are Coming! The Lesbians Are Coming!

AHHHH! Run for the hills, an epidemic of lesbianism has hit the parish of Union Temple Baptist Church in DC. According to Reverand Willie F. Wilson the filthy scourge of lesbianism, that spiritual harlot, has infested his nice heterosexual congregation. In a statement posted on the church's website, Wilson had this to say:

All of us should be aware that there is a severe crisis in the Black community concerning our young girls. The situation is so grave that it should be declared a national emergency. The very survival of the Black family is being threatened by...the fact that our girls, some as young as 10 and 11 years of age are engaging in same sex relations. This is occurring at an alarming rate all over the nation. At a recent local school, I am told that girls were asked to report to the gymnasium. A survey was conducted to decipher how many girls were involved in same sex relations, the number indicating that they were outnumbered those who had not by a 10 to 1 count.

Anytime children as young as 10 or 11 engage in sexual activity is disturbing, yet I don't know why it's more distressing if that sexual activity is homosexual, other than the typical fear and prejudice those girls will have to endure.

Also, has anyone noticed that when people cite ridiculous statistical evidence to back up their argument, they neither give the title or author of that survey nor give the link to it. That's pretty suspicious.

Even worse, Rev. Wilson seems to channel Jackie Childs from Seinfeld with this bit of overkill:

It is a problem that is epidemic, endemic and pandemic in the Black community. It is epidemic because it has gotten totally out of hand. It is endemic because it is rapidly becoming a part of the very fiber and fabric of the black community. And it is pandemic because it is happening in Black communities all over the nation.

You have to be kidding me, cue Kramer.

Yet, why is the Rev. Wilson so concerned with this little problem of girls playing footsies with each other, considering the more insurmountable problems plaguing black communities nationwide? Well it has to do with that modesty "endemic" to clerics everywhere.

As a preacher-prophet it is my responsibility to do critical analysis and assessment of what is going on in society and then to offer a Biblical, spiritual and moral response. This is what I did.

I did not know you could proclaim yourself a prophet. That's awesome, you don't even have to take a test or get a license. I wonder if God gave Wilson his prophet certificate. Tonight, I know what I'm praying for.

Kidding aside, Wilson's statement is serious stuff. Why do so many young black girls engage in lesbianism? You'll love this:

Many girls are getting involved because they have been threatened and intimidated into participating by same sex girls’ gangs.

Why haven't I heard about this before? Damn you liberal media.

Is there any scientific or sociological evidence to back up Wilson's claims? No, just your average appeal to authority and hearsay. Take it away Wilson:

All of this I know not from hearsay or theory, but through actual counseling of parents, grandparents and their daughters and granddaughters who are grappling with this issue.

This is really rich, rich stuff. You have to read the whole thing to believe it. I particularly liked the middle paragraphs of his statement when he tries to backtrack on what must have been anti-feminist remarks he made concerning black women making more than their husbands and boyfriends. According to Wilson, he is "far too knowledgeable, wise and intelligent to think that women making more money than men is the only problem or the primary conflict in marriages between Black men and women, but it is a problem." And what should be done about this horrid problem? He never says, he just rips off a couple of instances where he came to the defense of women. How good of him.

Rev. Wilson is a good example of what happens when you sandwich ignorance and religious righteousness together: prejudice, fear, and hate. Unfortunately too many people swallow it down. Let's hope there are fewer butts in Rev. Wilson's pews this coming Sunday. I fear it will be the opposite.