Left Behind...Their Intelligence That Is

It seems Sony has financed the third installment of the Left Behind series, which if you're not into the whole evangelical scene, is the fictional account of those poor souls left back on earth after the Rapture to fend for themselves and their souls during the Apocalypse and the rise of the Anti-Christ.

But what struck me is that after screenings at whatever Mega-church these people go to -- what Christian humility by the way -- people are actually converting...because of this film starring...wait for it...Kirk Cameron and Louis Gosset Jr. (I guess royalties for such fine films like Jaws 3 and Iron Eagles 3 just aren't paying the bills for Louis.) I wonder if I switched the film for say, Boogie Nights or Strip Tease, if we wouldn't have a better social outcome. Anyway, via the NYTs, here's the films impact on the bleating sheep that viewed it:

Many of last month's church screenings were followed by an altar call for born-again conversions and fund-raising (cause nothing says "No" to the devil than a rectory stashed with cash.) Mr. Lalonde [the film's producer] said proudly that at a screening for about 900 people at a Costa Mesa, Calif., church on Friday night, "11 people became Christians after the film."

At a screening at an East Hollywood church, audience members said they had been inspired by the film. "It emotionally touched me," said Yolanda Figueroa, wiping away tears after the film. "It's scary for me, because I have kids. I do believe we're living this already - with the hurricanes, and murder. We live in a world that is dark. And Christians can shed some light."

No, I'm sorry, Christians cannot shed light onto the world's darkness. If you believe hurricanes are anything more than meteorological events then, I'm sorry, you're ignorant. Besides, if they are heaven sent, then you contradict your whole hypothesis that God is all-loving. And murder is a human choice, nothing more. God and his little red friend don't function into the equation at all, unless that is you're one of those moral midgets that displace moral responsibility by claiming one of these imaginative beings told you to commit your heinous act.

Oh, and if you want a real laugh, stroll on over to the Left Behind website where you can be told that Avian bird flu is a sign of the coming Apocalypse:

The [National Geographic] article says the current H5N1 virus that is killing poultry and a few people in Asia could be the next global pandemic it if gains the ability to quickly spread from person to person. But here's the incredible part. It is estimated that deaths from such a widespread pandemic could range from a conservative "7.4 million to an apocalyptic 180 million to 360 million." Yes, you read it correctly�180 to 360 MILLION.

Apocalyptic indeed!

According to experts, a virus today would move twice as fast as in 1918 due to rapid means of travel. This rapid spread of the virus would severely limit the time to stem with tide with a vaccine. Even during the pandemic in 1968 that lasted 342 days, the flu moved more slowly. It is estimated a flu virus today would spread twice as fast to the world's major cities as the flu pandemic of 1968.

If the Rapture were to happen soon, a virus such as the bird flu could be one of the apocalyptic plagues God uses to bring judgment on the Earth. It's just a matter of time. The Rapture will come, and then the great events of the end times, including plagues and pestilence, will begin to unfold.

Make sure you're ready. Trust in Christ and submit your life to him each day.

I love how the author is practically rooting for its spread, "Apocalypse indeed!" -- what love for humanity. Douchebag indeed!

And isn't it funny how they quote National Geographic Magazine when it services their nefarious, yet foolish, ends. I wonder if they'll quote NGM next time it publishes another atheistic article on evolution. Why doesn't the Book of Revelations tell us if our end will be death by chicken? That God, boy does he want us to read between the lines or what? Why didn't Jesus utter on his dying breath, "Whatever you do, don't eat the chicken?"

Come on, am I the only one that thinks this type of religious fanaticism isn't a form of mental retardation or at least a severe defect? Please, readers, tell me I'm not alone. Can I be truly left behind?