The U.S. Against the Universe

According to former Canadian Defense Minister Paul Hellyer, the U.S. is not satisfied with ruling this earth, but has staked its claim to rule the universe and will start a preventative war against ETs. If you're not a sci-fi geek or a Spielberg fanatic, then ET means "extra-terrestrial."

The United States military are preparing weapons which could be used against the aliens, and they could get us into an intergalactic war without us ever having any warning. He stated, "The Bush administration has finally agreed to let the military build a forward base on the moon, which will put them in a better position to keep track of the goings and comings of the visitors from space, and to shoot at them, if they so decide.

Naturally, his speech ended with a standing ovation at the University of Toronto. And people say the Bush Administration isn't part of the "reality based community."

Why would Hellyer risk his reputation as a rational human being, knowing his credibility was on the line? I'll let him explain:

I'm so concerned about what the consequences might be of starting an intergalactic war, that I just think I had to say something.

The air up there is thin, eh. As the likes of Mike Myers, Colin Mochrie, John Candy, and the Kids in the Hall attest, Canadians are very skilled at one thing: Making Americans laugh.

Paul Hellyer, intergalatic whistleblower and ET diplomat, we Americans salute you.