Friday, August 19, 2005

Batshit Insanity

This is really unbelievable. I just discovered a Web site called God Said, Man Said that lays waste to the competition when it comes to dishing out moronic, pseudo-scientific, religious drivel. The archives on this site are overwhelming. Its author(s) have written ridiculously long explanations of every piece of Biblical nonsense imaginable, including why: whites are white and blacks are black, Islam is a false religion, the world is six thousand years old, gays are an abomination being punished for their wickedness by the plague of AIDS. This is only the tip of a massive iceberg.

Here’s a little wisdom on dinosaurs:

In A Field Guide to Reptiles and Amphibians, which is part of the Patterson Field Guide series, and which is sponsored by the National Audobon Society and National Wildlife Federation, I found the following statement:

Size: Reptiles and amphibians may continue to grow as long as they live, rapidly at first but more slowly after maturity. Hence, giant specimens may be encountered on very rare occasions.

The older it is the bigger it gets. Note, before the water canopy was eliminated, the average lifespan was 13 times longer than it is today. Remember the air was near perfect, the water was clean and diet near perfect, no harmful rays from the sun and the lifespan was 13 times longer. Consider the present day Chinese Iguana that grows as large as 12 feet long. Suppose before the flood, in a near perfect environment, he lives 13 times longer and because he never stops growing gets 13 times bigger. That Chinese Iguana would be 156 feet long and about three stories tall. Dinosaur...terrible lizard...the dinosaur is simply a giant lizard which was created by God in the same six-day span as man.

GOD SAID He created all life 6,000-plus years ago and that there were dinosaur-like creatures on the earth.

MAN SAID, foolishness; the dinosaur is over 200 million years old.

Now you have THE RECORD.

I’m sure there are plenty of Web sites out there authored by like-minded idiots, but this one is pretty well polished, all the way down to the Flash intro. What’s more, my confidant, who directed me to the site in the first place, tells me that Howard Stern was talking about the site on his show. Apparently the God Said Man Said brigade is running commercials in New York. So I guess the born again Christians are taking Manhattan.

But do yourself a favor and check out the site. Take a break from the Web pages you usually surf when you’re supposed to be working. This is funnier. Trust me.

Maybe I’ll post a few more pieces highlighting some of the page's richer content. In the meantime, I leave you with what God said. . .or. . . what man said he said . . . whatever.

--Matthew McCoy