Friday, September 30, 2005

A Modest Proposal

Slate's Dahlia Lithwick has a Swiftian proposal concerning the raucous debate between evil Science and Almighty God.
My modest proposal would be that, instead of using intelligent design merely to fill in the gaps and inconsistencies of our most intractable scientific puzzles, we roll back what we've already learned about science and plug God into the equation at the outset. Kind of cut out those annoying scientific middlemen. That apple didn't fall onto Sir Isaac Newton's head because of gravity. It was God. God didn't want Newton to study science, and he doesn't want us to, either. And I, for one, am relieved. As Galileo famously said, and Teen Talk Barbie famously paraphrased: "Science is hard."
Science, Schmience! Who needs it. Seriously, the laptop I'm using is merely a ghost in the machine. Pentium 5 Processor my ass! Anyway, I'm gonna go take a walk to the end of the earth and do a cannonball off. The earth is round...hahahaha...lunatics.